Since I announced my pregnancy, many people have told me that they are looking forward to the stories I will have about both being pregnant and having a child. If there's something I can do, it's be completely and unabashedly honest. I don't do embarrassment (okay, that's a lie, but I try to pretend to play it cool), and I don't mind "oversharing".
So prepare yourselves for an uncensored look into what it's really like to be pregnant.
First and foremost, I was promised a glow.
As of today I am 11 weeks pregnant, and this glow is non existent.
Unless you count that haze that surrounds me because of the increase in gas I pass. If that's the case, then WOW! What a glow. Jordan has started to refer to our bedroom as a "gas chamber".
Oh! Did I mention that I now have the skin of a prepubescent boy? I was lucky enough as a teenager to make it through junior high and high school with nary a blemish. Pregnancy is now doing its job to ensure I know exactly what it feels like. Did you know I can create both the little dipper AND the big dipper by just connecting the dots on my face? It's like a permanent astronomy lesson.
Okay, I think you've been grossed out enough for one day! On one hand, I hope to be able to provide you with more entertainment as I get fatter and fatter. On the other hand, I am so over this crap already and can someone just hand me a baby that didn't have to force its way out of an area that nothing of that size should be forced out of?
No comments:
Post a Comment