Kreature has laid off on causing me sickness, back pain, and misery in general for the last few weeks. It almost allows me to forgive him for the 22 weeks prior to that. Almost.
Last month, Jordan and I went to see Jim Jefferies at the Moncton Casino. He spotted me in the front row and razzed me a bit about being pregnant. He also asked what sort of hopes I have for my son. I jokingly responded, "I hope that he doesn't turn out like his father."
All jokes aside (Jordan will be a great dad, I'm sure of it), it got me thinking about what I actually do hope for. That topped with some extra judgmental horseshit I've seen littering my Facebook news feed lately has made me realize the following:
1) I want my son to grow up in a world where he can be who he truly is. Whether he is gay, straight, bisexual, or transgender, I want nothing more than for him to feel comfortable in his own skin and to know that his father and I will always love him (unless of course he's a serial killer...I'm sure I'll still love him, but maaaaaaaaybe I'll keep my distance...and hide the butcher knives).
Just recently I read an article about how a woman believed she had been born into the wrong body and should have been born a man. However, instead of transitioning, she lived her life uncomfortably because obviously God doesn't make mistakes and she is exactly as she should be, regardless of if she feels she should have been born a male. That's fine. That's her choice. But I don't ever want my child to feel like he can't be who he wants to be because of a god he's never seen.
2) This leads me into the fact that we aren't going to baptize/christen/dedicate our child. My grandmother probably just fainted and my grandfather is likely rolling over in his grave. Oy.
Sure, I was baptized Catholic. I went to church every Sunday with my grandfather until he passed away. I went through the whole "confirmation" business in grade 2, and perhaps on some level I like to think that this life isn't it, that there may be a possibility of something beyond; however, I'm not about to bet my life savings on it (as little as that might be).
If Kreature decides that he wishes to partake in religion or in some other spiritual belief, I'll talk with him about it. I'll tell him what I know (which is very little), and let him explore what the world offers in the way of beliefs. I draw the line at trying to sacrifice the dog to Belial, though.
3) I hope that my son knows kindness in this world and can return that kindness as well. I want him to treat people fairly, to know that he shouldn't judge others just because they don't see things the way he does, and above all, to realize that perhaps "agreeing to disagree" is easier than trying to bring someone around to his own belief system.
As I've learned (or perhaps, am still learning), we aren't going to agree on everything. As long as the beliefs of others don't attempt to take away my rights and aren't shared in a hateful way, people can go ahead and believe whatever the hell they want. Same goes for Kreature.
4) I want him to grow up in a world where gender equality is not just something people (women) hope for, but that it's actually in existence. At the very least, I want him to realize that their should be gender equality and if he marries a woman someday, to treat her with the respect she deserves. Hell, if he marries a man, he should respect him too. Respect all.
Sure, I do most of the cooking and cleaning around our house. I wash, fold, and put away the laundry. I make sure things run smoothly. How 1950s of me, right? I do these things because I like the way that I do them. I like the clothes put away a certain way. I love to cook and bake. I enjoy the feeling of coming home to a clean house. That being said, I know Jordan will pitch in if I ask, and he even sometimes surprises me by doing things I don't ask him to do. We both contribute equally financially to the house and we take care of each other. I want the same kind of relationship for my son someday. The kind where we can give each other shit but have each other's back.
In a nutshell, I want Kreature to be raised like I was - by parents who weren't perfect, but who did their best, gave their all, and loved me unconditionally. Which says a lot, because I am a total bitch.
Ok, if this were a facebook status, I would sit their repeatedly clicking the like button (possibly to annoy the shit out of you, possibly to encourage that you have written my parenting dreams for me). I particularly had to laugh about the serial killer child...but then I though about Jason, and how his mommy still supports him in jail and I'm like, eh, yeah probably. MY kid could never do any harm (except Schylar...she could quite easily turn out to be a serial killer with those big blue eyes lol).
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