If you don't have anything nice to say...

As my father told me, and as I failed to listen (perhaps this is my karma?!), "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I've decided a public service announcement is due. As I near the third trimester, my ever burgeoning bump is now at the point where it makes an appearance before I do. That's cool. Baby is approx. two pounds and 15 inches. He is getting big, so obviously I will get bigger with him. 

Despite people's beliefs, I am also quite fucking aware that I am getting bigger. Because of this, I do not need the following said to me:

• You're huge/big/large/ginormous/etc. OR You're going to be huge.
• I am not any of these things, you fucking asshole. Have I gained weight? Yes. A whopping 35 pounds so far. Let's also remember that I'm just barely under 5'10" (thank you, Dad, for the amazing genetics). That means that even though I've gained 35 pounds, I don't look like an oompa loompa. You, however, may leave much to be desired.
• Regarding the comment about the fact that I will be huge - yeah, when I'm 40 weeks pregnant, I don't expect to have the body of Kate Moss. I expect that I will look 40 weeks pregnant. Maybe I will be "huge" at that time, but I have something the size of watermelon in me. What's your excuse?
• Are you sure you aren't carrying twins/triplets/etc?
• Funny story - I got pregnant. Then, I went to the doctor a bunch of times and they did a bunch of ultrasounds over the last 28 weeks. Imagine that! He's only ever found one fucking baby. So yes, I am 137% positive that I'm not have multiples, you fucking twat. 
• You know you're going to be miserable this summer, right?
• Yes. I do. I'm going to be 8 months pregnant in August. I am aware that it will be hot and as a result I will be hot. I know how to count. I know what months of the year I will be pregnant in. I know how I will feel being pregnant during that time because I'm the fucking pregnant one here.
• You're not really eating for two. You only need 'X' amount of extra calories per day.
• I will eat whatever I want, whenever I want. And I don't give a single flying fuck. What I do give a fuck about those is how insensitive some people can be about what I am eating. Is it your body? Is it your baby? Is it your place to make any sort of comment? In case you missed the tone of the rest of this blog entry (which I suspect is entirely possible based on the crass comments coming out of your mouth), the answer is no.

The fact of the matter is that you're not likely to tell a woman who actually is obese that she is huge. You wouldn't comment on her weight. You wouldn't make her feel like a bag of shit.

Therefore, it is not okay to make a pregnant woman (OR ANY HUMAN BEING) feel this way either. 

For the most part, I've accepted these types of comments. I've laughed them off, I've nodded and smiled, or I've ignored them entirely. 

I won't be doing so anymore. 

If anyone feels the need to comment on my weight in the future (or the possible weight of my child based on how I currently look), I will unleash all of my fury on the idiot who does. I won't feel a single bit bad about it either, because hey, along with being a huge pregnant lady I am also a hormonal bitch on a good day. What's your excuse?