Only One?

I only want one child.

Yep, you read that right! Only one.

The response this gets me when people ask how many children we plan on having is absurd. Plain fucking absurd.

I've been told the following when people learn I only want one child:

• You're being selfish.
• Oh, I'm being selfish? No, I think it's selfish to push your negative, asinine beliefs on me, and if you're so concerned with my child not having enough playmates, why don't you pop out a few? Not that I'd let me kid hang around with the offspring of such a pretentious asshole.
• You'll change your mind.
• People think Jordan and I changed our mind about having a kid in the first place as I had always said I didn't want any. No, the truth to that is I simply told people we didn't want to have kids so they'd stop fucking asking when we were going to have kids. It's like the second you have a ring on your finger, you serve no greater purpose than to procreate. Okay. 
• However, this is not something I am making up to shut people up. It's a simple concept. A simple statement. A simple idea. Say it with me: "I am only having one child". There, doesn't that feel better?
• Your child needs siblings.
• My child will need a lot of things, but a sibling (or two) is not one of them. He'll need to eat, he'll need to sleep, he'll need love, encouragement and support from his family and friends. He does not, however, need a sibling. 
• He'll be lonely.
• Listen, I have enough personality (however annoying) for about 50 people. If anything, I think my child will have a constant need to be by himself if he has to spend any great amount of time with me. Which he will, as I am awesome. Also, there's this weird thing called friends. I'm sure he'll make some in daycare, and then in school, and then at his first job, etc. I might even let them come to our house. Imagine that. 

In a nutshell, Jordan and I (y'know, the ones who have to raise and support this child) are completely comfortable with the idea of having one child. And as it's our choice, you don't have to agree with it, but you can keep your opinions to yourself. What a novel idea, huh?